In American culture, the burden of initiating romantic relations has traditionally been the sole responsibility of men. Men were expected to ask women out on dates and ultimately, be the ones to propose marriage. Women, in turn, were expected to demurely wait for men to make the first move and do no more than covertly hint that they were romantically interested in anyone. If a woman dared defy this convention by initiating romance herself, she was considered to be “forward” or “fast”. As gender equality has become an increasingly important concern in American society, this convention has gradually eroded. Today, it's considered perfectly acceptable for a woman to ask a man out. Nonetheless, remnants of the convention linger in contemporary dating culture and often shape women's expectations.
Many people consider women asking men out to be a sign of greater gender equality; the social stigma attached to women being assertive and initiating romance has dissipated. Despite this fact, however, some women prefer the old dating convention and seem reluctant to actually make the first move. Part of this is merely trepidation. Asking someone out entails running the risk of rejection and embarrassment, so many women are content to abide by the old convention that required men assume all the risk. Women may get frustrated if the men they're attracted to don't ask them out, but they can at least wait in safety. For some women, being asked out is also more romantic than doing the asking themselves. Many depictions of romance in popular culture-- whether it be in romantic comedies, books, or magazines-- center around the idea of men pursuing women, not vice versa. To a certain extent, these depictions shape women's perception of romance. In an online forum about modern dating relations, one participant noted that “romance and passion are essential to relationships” and that “personally [she] [doesn't] think it's romantic to ask a guy out.”
Although many women prefer the dating convention of the past, their unwillingness to ask men out is by no means universal. There are plenty of women who enjoy the greater fluidity in modern dating culture and take a proactive approach to dating. In the same forum that one woman stated that asking a guy out is not romantic, another encouraged her fellow women to “break tradition” and stated that both men and women should ask the person they like out because “the only way you get what you want is to ask”. The traditional dating convention clearly does not have the same hold over society that it once did, but that does not mean its influence has entirely vanished.
讨论:你认为女性应该在恋爱中采取主动吗? (Discussion Question: Do you think women should initiate romance?)
Sources:
Cullen, Emma. "No, Make Guys Work." Should Girls Ask Guys Out? The Chicago Tribune, 21 Jan. 2010.
Web. 11 Aug. 2011. <http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2010-01-21/news/
1001220440_1_guy-equality-girls>.
Image:
By JGKlein (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
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