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花旗国的半边天

An Exploration of Women's Issues

 
 
 

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我们只是朋友而已:异性间的友谊 (We're Just Friends: Cross-Sex Friendships)  

2011-07-19 12:27:11|  分类: 默认分类 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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我们只是朋友而已:异性间的友谊 (Were Just Friends: Cross-Sex Friendships) - 美国马尾妹 - 花旗国的半边天
 在如何感知和处理友谊方面,人与人之间有着很大的 差异。人们普遍认为,男性和女性对待友谊的方式是不同的。男性间的友谊往往是群体导向型的,着重点放在共同的兴趣和团体活动上。相反,闺蜜之间更注重双方 思想和感情的交流。因了这种差异,年幼的儿童更喜欢和同性的小孩交朋友,这个现象被称为“自愿性的性别隔离”。由于这种幼年时期的隔离,人们开始争论在以 后的生活里,男性和女性之间是否存在真正的友谊。很多人认为男女之间的性别紧张排除了这种可能性。这种观点也频繁地反映在美国的流行文化中。在《今日心理 学》的一篇名为《男人和女人可以做朋友吗?》的文章中,Camille Chatterjee质疑了这种设想,认为异性间的友谊不仅有可能存在,而且非常有价值。


Although there is huge variety in how individuals perceive and handle their friendships, it is widely accepted that men and women generally approach friendship in different ways. Male friendships are usually group-oriented and focus on shared interests and group activities. In contrast, female friendships center more around the discussion of thoughts and feelings. Because of these differences, young children tend to form friendships with other children of the same sex, a phenomena that is known as “voluntary gender segregation”. Because of this early separation, there is much debate about whether or not men and women can have meaningful cross-sex friendships later in life. Many people believe that sexual tensions between the sexes exclude this possibility, an opinion that is frequently reflected in American pop culture. In her article “Can Men and Women Be Friends?” in Pschology Today, Camille Chatterjee challenged this assumption, asserting that not only are cross-sex friendships possible, they can also be extremely rewarding.


Friendships between women are often extremely close. Because of the exchange about thoughts and emotions, women develop sister-like bonds with their friends that they tend to cherish and maintain throughout their lives. However, the importance of discussing and supporting each other through emotionally trying times can sometimes become tiring for women. For this reason, women can benefit from friendships with men in addition to their friendships with other women. Chatterjee suggests that although cross-sex friendships are usually discussion-based as well, these discussions tend to be lighter in tone. With men, women can enjoy less emotionally-involved friendships that are a fun supplement to their friendships with other women.


American pop culture seems to be obsessed with the obstacles that threaten happy cross-sex friendships. Almost every movie or TV show that depicts a friendship between a man and a woman eventually shows the two friends becoming romantically involved with each other. Perhaps most famously, the popular romantic comedy When Harry Met Sally depicted the friendship between the two protagonists as merely a step along the way to their eventual romantic relationship. The message of this and many other movies seems to be that men and women can't actually be friends because of the ever-present possibility of romantic involvement. Chatterjee, however, asserts that if men and women deal with this possibility frankly, there is no reason that it should be an insurmountable barrier to cross-sex friendships. Citing the increased social mixing of men and women since women entered the workforce en masse as the reason, Chatterjee notes that the majority of Americans (83 percent according to one survey) believe that it is possible for men and women to be friends and not become romantically involved.


Thus, while friendships with men may not be able to replace more emotionally supportive friendships with other women, they can be fun and rewarding if men and women ignore pop culture's insistence that friendship is impossible in the face of romance.



你认为男女之间可以建立友谊吗?(Discussion Question: Do you think it is possible for men and women to be friends?)


Sources:

Chatterjee, Camille. "Can Men and Women Be Friends?" Psychology Today 1 Sept. 2001: n. pag. 
     Psychology Today. Web. 18 July 2011. <http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200109/ 
     can-men-and-women-be-friends?page=3>. 

Image:

By Daniel Maleck Lewy (Own work) [GFDL (www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html), CC-BY-SA-3.0 (www.creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/) or CC-BY-SA-2.5-2.0-1.0 (www.creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5-2.0-1.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

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